Pek Kim & Condolence Money: How Much to Give at a Funeral

Pek kim (白金), bai jin in Mandarin, literally means "white gold." It's the condolence money given to the bereaved family at a Buddhist or Taoist wake in Singapore, originally to help the family fund part of the funeral. Over time, families of other faiths adopted a similar practice, and giving condolence money at a wake has become a broader Singapore norm, not just a Buddhist or Taoist one, even if the term "pek kim" specifically belongs to that tradition.

Traditionally, the money went into a plain white envelope, white being the colour of mourning in Chinese tradition, unlike the red ang bao used at weddings. These days, it's just as common to see a simple container or box at the reception table instead, with a ledger book where a helper notes down who gave what, a practical, if slightly amusing, form of DIY accounting. For the full context of a Chinese funeral wake, see Buddhist Funeral Singapore and Taoist Funeral Singapore.

These are guidelines, not rules, and it's worth being honest about that rather than pretending there's a precise formula. There's no fixed rule on the exact amount to give, and this isn't the kind of thing that deserves a rate-card the way wedding ang bao amounts sometimes get treated online. If you must have a number, S$50 is a safe, standard amount for most people, adjusted based on how close you actually are to the family. Never feel pressured to give beyond your means, your presence at the wake carries its own weight.

In Chinese custom, even numbers are associated with auspicious occasions like weddings. Funerals being the opposite, odd amounts are traditionally given.

In practice: • S$30, S$50, S$70, S$90 — clearly odd • S$100 — technically even, but universally accepted in Singapore. Most people simply give S$50 or S$100 for simplicity. • S$101 — the stricter interpretation for those who want to be precisely correct • Avoid amounts involving the number 4 — considered unlucky (四 sounds like "death")

Enforcing a strict "not ending in 00" rule in modern Singapore is impractical, most guests give S$50 or S$100 without a second thought. If an elderly relative insists on S$101, that's entirely valid too. Neither is wrong.

1. Use a plain white envelope if one is expected, not red, not patterned, not festive. Some receptions now just use a collection box instead, follow whatever's set up at the table. 2. Write your name on the front, or on the ledger, so the family can acknowledge it later. 3. Place cash inside, notes only, no coins. 4. At the wake, sign the condolence book and deposit the envelope, or hand it to whoever's managing the reception table. 5. Don't hand it directly to a grieving family member in an emotional moment, let the reception handle it.

Forgot an envelope? Completely fine to hand over folded cash directly.

Yes, increasingly so. Many families now display a PayNow QR code at the reception table, and digital transfers are socially accepted, particularly if you can't attend in person. Cash in a white envelope, or the collection box, remains the more traditional route. If in doubt, cash is always safe.

Pek kim specifically belongs to Buddhist and Taoist tradition, but the broader practice of giving condolence money shows up well beyond it, and the norms differ by faith.

Christian and Catholic funerals: not a formal requirement, but Chinese Christian families often carry the practice over informally. If a collection box or envelope is visible at reception, giving is appropriate and welcome. If there isn't one, it's simply not expected. See Christian Funeral Singapore.

Hindu funerals: condolence money isn't a standard fixture the way it is at Chinese wakes. Support is more commonly shown through presence, flowers, or assisting the family directly. See Hindu Funeral Singapore.

Freethinker funerals: entirely dependent on the individual family's background and preference. Follow the cues at reception, if there's a box, it's welcome. See Freethinker Funeral Singapore.

Muslim funerals: known as duit takziah. Any amount is fine, there's no odd or even number convention, and it's typically passed discreetly to a family member rather than placed in a box.

For dress code guidance at any of these, see What to Wear to a Funeral Singapore.

Some families explicitly don't collect pek kim or condolence money, and prefer donations to a charity instead, or simply want to keep things simple. This will usually be stated at the reception or in the obituary. Don't feel awkward about it, just follow the family's wishes. Sending flowers, or donating to whatever charity they've named, is a fitting alternative.